Am I interesting and cute yet?

There’s a person I almost despise and their being around my friends causes me to begin to despise my friends. I don’t understand how you can hang around him after everything?! He’s such an asshole to you, he just wants to have sex with you, and he doesn’t actually care but you still make it a point of trying to get him to not hate you when his hating you was the best thing that’s ever happened to our friendship and to you in general. You being around him will just cause trouble. I’m not okay with it but I cannot tell you that it’s not okay. That’s not my place.

(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me:	“So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy:	“She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me:	“Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy:	“Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

Sex is such a double sided coin. It sounds appealing and awkward at the same time.

i just want to be one of those good looking skinny muscular guys i see all over my dash

finding-a-free-username-is-hard:

When Yahoo try to get in with the Tumblr Famous.

(via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

#The ship you shipped for 5 minutes before it broke your heart

(Source: somereallygreathair, via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

k-i-t-a-i:

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

i can almost hear yahoo regretting their investment

(via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

flying-inca56:

“Tony no” a biography by Pepper Potts

(via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

prongsmydeer:

Plot twist: The next companion is a normal girl/boy who only dies once in their lifetime and has no remarkable back story but he thinks they’re wonderful because they are human and the Doctor needs reminding that you don’t need to be a mystery to be remarkable. 

(via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

tempoes:

everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold

(Source: tempooooooooes, via nearlyheadlessfinnick)

you-told-me-think-about-it:

ohitsjustkim:

fairgroundsoldier:

01012012:

friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate

and your grave

and eating your next pizza

this sums up all of tumblr 

(via flyingskybison)

maybe buddhists got it right and Buddha was actually Jesus Christ and John the Baptist was Mohammad so all Big Three religions are actually right but confused

sfux:

i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together

(via mythrils)

View high resolution

(Source: leaderjolras, via lefayss)